My Absurdum of fear

Have you ever felt like a tiny dust
Blown by the wind
You know you have this destination
But you dont know where you’re going
Well, I know a girl with the widest smile and loudest laughter
But when shes alone all those happines becomes a withering flower
She was desperate to let that happiness stay
That she’s willing to do every possible way
Even if its just a euphoria yet she wanted it
She wanted it and she was chasing it
It became her obsession
Chasing that temporary happiness with all her passion
Everyday she delt with her life like a helpless dog chasing its tail
Behold a wrecked life that was once a fairytale
So she was left lonely and empty
And All that she can offer to herself is pity
Being left alone is her biggest fear
She cries in agony but with an invisible tear
Whats more painful is that no one knows
For all they see is that very bright smile with happiness that overflows
That girl hears voices that left her unpeaceful
She dealt with those voices who shouts trouble
So she became confused so she shouted for help but no one listens
Now those voices became her friends
They became attached to each other
She knows that it was a demon but it was the onlh thing that stayed with her
If fed her lies that brought her comforts
And all those truths starts to distorts
And so I grew afraid of her and let her be
A human being accepted a demon easily ?
All that I could think of her is that shes being frantic and pathetic
But I was so afraid I cant even give her a single glance
And to think we were close once
But I was so afraid I wanted to run away
She looks at me all the care she can give
But I cant affor to look at her that way
I wanted escape and leave
But I always see her she still need a help
But all could offer was judging chelp
Those tears that represent every pain
As if other weathers turned their back except for the rain
But it brought her no comforts or relief
pain was inevitible but she welcomed thle rain fir it stayed so it cares thats what her belief.
Go away! I shouted with plea
If you truly care stop and leave me
Go away! I shouted with plea
If you dont want me to be broken then leave me
Go away! I shouted with plea
But this time she smiled and anwered me
“if only I could, I would,but who am i without you?”
Will you still find yourself without me too?
You were watching all along but why?
You never cared yet you stayed but why
You never attempted to help but why?
Is it because you just passed by?
Or does my wrecked life bring entertainment to your eye?
Tell me why is it?
I know you very well thats a hint!
Then I sobbed and cried because I realized this reality
‎Isnt it crazy? I am afraid of me!